Unfixable
by imaddicted
Summary: Amy's heart is broken, and the one person who can fix it is the one who broke it in the first place. Will she take him back, or heal with the help of her best friend Cammy?


BROKEN PIECES

**BROKEN PIECES**

She sat in the shabby gazebo, wondering when the tragedy would end. With tears welling up and spilling over, she stood and started to walk. Before long, her walk quickened to a jog and sped to a dangerous run.

Blurred emotions, images, memories, passed at lightening speed before her eyes. His eyes: so loving and pained. His face: stony and emotionless; her friends' reactions, though heartfelt, were not enough to fill the gash torn in her heart. The bitter ache was engulfing her every fiber.

She tripped, fell and rolled to a stop. She tasted blood and cried out. Not in pain, she thought to herself. She urged her body to bleed more, examining her ripped jeans and skinless knees. The blood from her bottom lip ran down her chin as she cradled her mouth in her palm.

She slowly rose, hoping nothing was broken, and stared, appalled at where her feet had taken her. She gaped at the closed door and wrap-around porch. She knew this house, knew it better than she had ever wanted to. It was his house.

Before she knew it, she was up the white wooden stairs, knocking, pleading for someone to answer. She didn't care who it was, she just wanted someone to talk to. She dropped her shaking hands to her sides after the third knock. The door opened and a blonde girl stood in the hall.

"Oh-my-god! Amy! What the hell happened?" His sister, Camille, her best friend, and the savior of her night answered the door with a shocked expression on her face. Amy started to say, "I fell," but the words wouldn't connect or form in her mouth. She felt like there was a huge pillow stuck in her throat.

"Y-you have to come in a-and get c-cleaned up," Cammy stammered, grabbing Amy by the slowly bruising wrist. Horror welled in Amy's stomach as she realized that he might be home. Amy pulled away from Cammy, shaking as the tears spilled once more onto her freshly skinned cheekbone.

"N-n-no!" Amy managed to stutter out, but Cammy only tugged on her arm harder, forcing her into the cream hallway. Amy could feel her pulse quicken as she was lead through the familiar hall into the kitchen.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours!" Cammy inquired, sitting Amy down on a stool, reaching for a dishtowel. Amy couldn't answer while Cammy cleaned her cuts and bruises. She felt like she was underwater, drowning in all of the memories that the house brought back. She couldn't see the kitchen through the foggy tears building up, ready to explode at any second. Amy could remember what the room looked like. She and Cammy had played there many hours when they were little, hiding in the mahogany cupboards with the faux tarnished silver handles.

She knew the chrome appliances, and remembered when they tried to make strawberry milkshakes and got the mixings all over the refrigerator. That was night she got her first kiss from him. Oh, god. Even thinking about him hurts, Amy thought to herself, the tears trickling down her cheeks like sparkling drops off an icicle. She could barely recognize the goldenrod seat cushions below her, and Cammy carefully placed her hands on the granite countertop.

After a few minutes of hydrogen peroxide and bandaging Amy up, Cammy finally sighed and looked at Amy's face.

"That's enough crying," she said, and taking Amy's face in her hands and brushing away the tears. "You are one of the bravest people I know, but you're stupid." Amy lifted her eyes from Cammy's tear-soaked cotton shirt to her face. She could have cut the tension with a knife, but she was curious as to why Cammy said what she had.

"I'm brave, but I'm st-stupid? H-how is that even p-p-possible?" Amy asked, sniffling. Cammy took up the dishtowel soaked in peroxide and began to dab Amy's cheeks.

"Yes, you're stupid. You're keeping in all of your emotions and I think you just popped. The 'putting on a happy face' may work for my idiot brother, but it doesn't work for me. It isn't healthy, Amy…" She paused, and glared at the door. Amy glanced at the worried expression on Cammy's face, wondering how long she could keep from spontaneously combusting out of anger at herself and pity for all of the poor souls who had to deal with her.

"What the hell do you want, Riley? Haven't you done enough?" Cammy's voice was full our venom as she addressed her brother, who was slouching on the door frame with a worried expression on his face. Amy wanted to run as fast as she could away from him, away forever. She didn't want him to see her like this. She especially didn't want him to know that she was pining over someone who had broken her heart….twice.

**EMOTIONAL GLUE**

I saw her sitting there, all scraped up and bruised, being taken care of by Cammy. The only thing I wanted to do was kiss her, and mend the broken pieces back together. I knew she was heartbroken because of my stupid mistake, but she didn't know that I did it because I know she's too good for me.

"What the hell do you want, Riley? Haven't you done enough?" Cammy spit the words as if I was something disgusting. She was hurt and angry that I had the gall to break her best friends' heart. I knew that. But she didn't have to be so hostile. I only wanted to see what was going on at 2:34 in the morning in my kitchen.

I opened my mouth to say I was just getting a glass of water when she looked me dead in the face and held my gaze with a shocked expression on her face. Amy looked like she didn't know whether to run out of the house or hug me until there was nothing left. I guess she decided to just freeze where she was, because I had to look away first.

Cammy told me to stuff it and leave, so I did. But I didn't want to. I just wanted to cradle Amy in my arms and take away all of the horrible things I said. I glanced once more at her and saw her tears falling. I felt horrible and wanted to take back everything that had happened during the year.

Besides...I still loved her.

**FAKING IT**

"Why don't you just go stuff it?! Go on, leave!" Cammy spat. I knew she was trying to protect me, but I just wanted to get through his carefully composed mask to the inside to find out why he shattered my future plans. Without another word, he slouched off with a pained expression of guilt and anger on his face. It took me a minute to reconfigure my brain. He did look at me, but almost like he wanted to take care of my gashes, physical and emotional, himself, and not his sister. He dropped his gaze before I could even think about what I was doing. Sure, I'd been frozen to the chair, but I still wanted to wrack his brain for an explanation. It was a few minutes before Cammy was calm enough to speak again.

"You know, sometimes, that boy just drives me nuts!" Cammy sighed, rolling her eyes. She was fussing over my face again. I finally put my hands up, crying "Enough!" and sliding off the stool. Bad idea, I thought to myself. I could feel where I landed the hardest, on my right thigh and hip. I gently lifted my t-shit to reveal a purplish bruise swelling to about the size of a small melon.

"Ow," I said, pointing to my hip. Cammy stared at me as if I had just jumped off a building. She was obviously waiting for me to go off the deep end again. But I had it under control now. I guess I just needed to see his face to tell myself to be strong, to shrug it off my shoulders. For a brief moment, while I stared into his pained, but otherwise blank face, it felt like the invisible steel bars constricting and throbbing against my ribs had loosened their grip. But when he couldn't hold my eyes, the bars tightened again, and a large lump formed in my throat. I didn't want to think about that, so I shrugged my shoulder at Cammy. She raised her eyebrows.

"Are you seriously going to try and sell me that 'I'm indifferent' crap after you just came in here all bruised and bloodied up like you got hit by a truck? Are you out of your mind? You must be, because you know I won't fall for that!" She was absentmindedly tidying things on the counter up, and shaking a finger at me.

"Okay, mom. I was shrugging because it's 3am and I don't feel like going all the way back home. Could I stay here?" She gave me a weird look. "Well, duh. I'm not about to send you home crazy like this. C'mon, I cleaned my room yesterday, so you can pull out the futon." She pranced up the stairs, with me dragging my feet behind her. Like she said, we pulled out the futon and made it into a suitable bed. Cammy lent me a pair of pajamas and tucked me in like a little kid. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Are you going to read me a story too?" She smirked. "I just want to know you're going to be okay. This is the second time you've come over completely out of whack. You were lucky enough last time that he was at Demitri's. But you also came at like four in the afternoon, not three in the morning.

Cammy looked at me with a wrinkled forehead. "And I think this freak-out was a bit worse than last time. Don't you agree?" I couldn't say no. Last time I was upset, yeah, but this was even over my head. I nodded. "Okay well, try to get some sleep. I know it will be a little harder because you're here, but just try. If not for yourself, for me, so I don't stay up all night watching you like a hawk. 'Night, Tango. Remember, I love you," she added, getting into her bed and pulling up her white, green, pink, and blue polka-dotted comforter.

"'Night," I said, closing my eyes. This was only for Cammy's benefit, of course. She flicked the switch on the Kermit the Frog lamp I got her for her birthday two years ago, leaving the room dimly lit by the moonlight that trickled through the blinds. I knew I wouldn't get much sleep tonight regardless of how tired I was. I was just hyper-aware that Riley was in the room across the hall. And from the lack of snoring, I could tell he was thinking about me, too.

**GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE...SORT OF**

I could hear them shuffling stuff around in Cammy's room. It must have been the futon, because I heard a protesting screech of rusty metal and a thump, and then some giggles. Yeah, definitely the futon. At least she wasn't going home. I could wait for her to fall asleep and just listen to her breathe. But that was also risking waking my sister who sleeps like she's in the Army: always with one eye open, or very light.

I lay there, waiting until I heard less whispering and soft snores, probably coming from Cammy. I couldn't help but get out of bed and go to sit at my closed door. Was she thinking about me too? I had to know. I stood up, carefully, trying not to knock anything over, and opened my door a crack. It was just enough to see that Cammy's door was cracked too.

Not being able to stand the bubbling anxiety for another minute, I opened my door all the way and tiptoed into the hallway. I peeked into my sister's room, trying to see anything in the dark. I jumped back to see a pair of eyes staring back at me.

"What are you doing?" Amy whispered. I gaped at her as she pulled the door open, searching for the right excuse. I glanced at Cam's alarm clock. It was 4:30. What was she doing up at 4:30. "Well, I, ah...wanted to check on you," I stumbled truthfully. She looked at me funny, her green, almond-shaped eyes bright, but curious.

"Why we're you checking on me?" Her tone was accusing. Damn, I screwed up. Not only did I screw up, but this was the second time. Why the hell hadn't I learned my lesson yet? "I don't know why I was checking on you, alright? Maybe because I was worried? Maybe because you scared the hell out of me, showing up here all beaten up? Maybe because I still lo--" I trailed off. She blushed and looked down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here. I was running and I--" She didn't finish because I grabbed her face in my hands and kissed her. She didn't respond at first, stiff and confused. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist, pulling her toward me. Amy's bitterness and pain was melting in my grasp. If only I could take away all the hurt I had inflicted with my poison words. She kissed me back, and it felt like it was the first time, new and afraid. But then she snapped out of it. She pushed herself away, looking scared and disoriented. I didn't loosen my grasp. I couldn't lose her again.

"I-I...W-what...But you...Huh?" She was very confused. I let go of all of her except her hand. I didn't notice her wrist was so badly bruised. I gingerly laced my fingers between hers and poured out my heart.

"Look, I know this is really hard, and I know that I hurt you so much that it would be near impossible for you to forgive me, but I only ask that you hear me out," I gazed into her eyes, wishing mine weren't clouding up with tears. I didn't want her to leave again. I didn't want to hurt her again. I just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be before I had broken her. She pulled away from my hand as if she had been stung. Her eyes were cold and angry, but they held more than that. She held her posture straight and proper, nothing at all like the Amy I loved. She stepped into the hall, closing Cammy's door behind her, and clasped her hands together, motioning with her cold stare for me to begin.

"Amy," I began, my voice cracking. "I know that I haven't made the best choices, and I know that you want me to suffer like you have, but I can't pretend any more. I love you. I always have, and I don't want you to think you know otherwise." I put it in plain words and reached for her. She jerked from my touch, backing into the wall, her eyes now filled with tears.

"Is this some horrible joke? Are you trying to cause more stinging pain than you already have?" She blinked away tears, her face growing red. Amy turned her face from mine, and I couldn't bear to see more tears fall over my indecision.

I gently took her face in my hands, turning it towards me. "Why would I joke about this? You're more important to me than you know, Amy. I know I've royally screwed myself over with all of the bad decisions I've made in this relationship, but I can't stand knowing you hurt because of me. I am selfish in the fact that I want you in my life, even after all that's happened."

Try as she might to keep from looking at me, she couldn't hold her eyes away. She met my begging eyes with a torn expression. She cleared her throat and whispered something.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked in a quiet, pleading voice. She made an attempt at a smile, sighing. But the peaceful look in her eyes was replaced by a dangerous glare. She took my hands from her face. "I said I love you too. But I want to know why we went through that crap about you never meaning it when you said you loved me and everything. And I want to know about Scarlet. Cam said she thought something was going on between you two. I want to know that truth." I dropped my eyes. I couldn't stand the heat coming from her glare. Man, did I screw up. How in the world was I going to talk myself out of this?

**TRUTH AND LIES**

I could feel Cammy's scrutinizing glare on my face, making the blood rush to my cheeks. She didn't believe the story I fed her about the night before. I didn't want to tell her that both Riley and I broke down. It would feel like a betrayal to her, and I didn't want to reveal any insecure hope I had retrieved from his unabashed honesty. I rolled my eyes when she was looking, and sighed.

"Nothing happened. I needed a glass of water, so I went and got one out of the kitchen. I came back upstairs and went back to bed. No Riley in there anywhere." I could feel my insides turn icy after saying his name. The small flare of hope that ignited from his words seemed to have gone out after some sleep. How was I supposed to know it wasn't just my subconscious giving my brain some imaginary antidote to my worries and broken heart? I couldn't be sure unless I could catch Riley's attention, and even then I probably wasn't going to get anything.

I glanced at Cammy, who was still giving me the what-for look over her cereal. I turned back to my now mushy cheerios and finally gave up.

"I'm going to go call my mom and get my clothes out of the dryer. Hopefully they aren't too stained," I said, sliding off the stool. Cammy was at my heels as I strode through the kitchen door to the stairs.

"Look, Tango, you don't have to pretend anything for me. I know something happened last night. I'm not the lightest sleeper, but I could hear some fierce hissing about something in the hallway." By now she had turned me to face her, her hands on my shoulders. I couldn't feel my face. I had no idea what it was giving away in terms of my racing brain. _Just lie again. You can't let her think you're back to the beginning!_ I thought. But, of course, against my better judgment, a louder voice said to tell her what happened.

"Okay," I sighed. This was going to be difficult. "I couldn't fall asleep so I…" I trailed off because rounding the top of the stairs was Riley. He must have just gotten out of the shower because his hair was wet and he was out of his pajamas. I noticed his eyes were a little puffy, but it wasn't anything compared to the massive dark circles under them. He clearly couldn't sleep after our little truce last night. But that wasn't saying much, because I couldn't either.

Cammy didn't miss my eyes on him, and her expression immediately turned sour, rather than worried. "What did you say to her, Riley Michael O'Neal? I want to know, and I want to know NOW!" His eyes moved slowly from my face to hers, turning apathetic.

"I don't know what you're talking about. This is the first time I've seen her since she was in the kitchen." His eyes shifted back to me and I saw the flicker of apology in them that instantly hardened as he glared back at Cammy. I just closed my eyes and barely shook my head. He understood, and realized that I had lied as well. I owed him big time saving me from spilling. Now all we had to do was ditch Cam and talk about what _had_ been said…and if I wasn't imagining it.

**HEART FOR THE TAKING**

Cammy wouldn't let me out of her sight. She was like a hawk watching its prey squirm in its clutches. I needed to go home and explain to my mother why she didn't have to wake me up this morning and I didn't want that to be prolonged. I knew she would gain more steam if I just let her sit there, undoubtedly in her fluffy pink robe and matching slippers, attempting to calm her nerves with a cup of hot tea. It was going to be very hard not to laugh. So I fed that excuse to Cammy, but not before I stuck a note under Riley's door, telling him to meet me at the gazebo later.

"Cam, I need to get home before my mom goes all out and calls the cops to look for me," I said, slapping her hand away from trying to clear my breakfast dishes. "My arms aren't broken, you know," I said.

"I know that. But don't worry about your mom. She'll live through a few more minutes of not knowing where her baby is. Isn't she at work anyway?" I glanced at the calendar that was on the refrigerator. Yep, she was at work. Damn, I guess that cover was blown. I had to think of something to get me home so I could change and so I could think without Cammy breathing down my neck.

"Um, yeah, she is. But I still need to get home. I have a lot of neglected chores and things to do, so I guess I'll be going," I said, throwing my dishes in the sink rushing past her before she could stop me. Cam grabbed my arm and I turned around as I flopped through the door like a rag doll.

"Just…you know, be careful. I don't want you to get hurt and I definitely don't want a reoccurrence of last night. You really scared us…I mean me. Will you make sure to call me when you get there?" She wasn't kidding. I could see it in her face that she was worried. But I couldn't help but sense the meaning behind her warning me to be careful. She didn't think what was happening between me and Riley was healthy, and she wasn't stupid. She knew something had happened between us; she just couldn't put her finger on what exactly.

"I will," I said, turning toward the door. "Promise?" she asked. "Promise honest." I crossed my heart. She gave me a weak smile and let me go, but not before giving me a bone crushing hug. "Thanks. I'm serious. Call me when you get in the door. I'll be a nervous wreck until I know you're safe at home." I rolled my eyes. "Okay, mom." She laughed and opened the front door for me. I walked down the stairs and quickened my pace as soon as she shut the door. I had to get home fast and call Riley to tell him to meet me later, in case he didn't get the note.

I opened my front door and dialed his cell. After the third ring, there was an answering machine. "Hey, you got my cell. It's Riley, by the way. Leave me a message and I'll get back to ya…maybe," the recording said, with some ghostly laugher I could only recognize as my own in the background. I hung up before the beep. He would know it was me calling about the gazebo time, hopefully. I waited a few more minutes and decided to call Cammy before her eyes popped out of her head.

"Thank god you actually called. I was getting worried," she exclaimed. I laughed. "My god, you really are a worry wart. I'm fine, promise.


End file.
